A dominant's point of view by Lord Colm "How do I find the submissive who is right for me?
It is an important concern, but one that's not easily answered. Many of us subimssive to know how we can determine whether a submissive is suitable for us, but don't have a solid grasp on what attributes a successful submissive should possess. Understand that this concept is highly subjective; every dominant has a different set of values.
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There are, however, some common characteristics that experienced, real-life dominants tend to agree upon. I certainly cannot list them all here, so I'll only present the more important ones. Without this, the potential for unhealthy emotional dependency exists where the submissive's self-esteem is totally dependent on you. Submissives with low self esteem tend to demonstrate this in both words and action.
They feel that they are worthless without a dominant, they cannot be submissive without someone to submit to. They are overly critical of themselves and others.
They attach themselves much too quickly to others for emotional support. Watch out for the "you should have known When asked a question, the dom needs a completely truthful answer in order to make a decision. If the sub isn't forthcoming or tries to bend the truth to meet what they think the dom wants to hear, the sub is very likely to end up in some very unhappy situations through their own fault. The submissive must genuinely feel and believe in their own submissiveness. Their actions and words should accurately reflect what they are.
Anything less is deceit.
psrfect Immodest subs are viewed as untrustworthy, "slutty," little more than a sexual toy. An unclaimed submissive who all-too-readily parts her thighs, thrusts forth her breasts, grovels at the feet of any domme in the room, or draws attention to their sexuality with exaggerated gestures is a submissive trolling for whatever they can get sexually.
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This is typical behavior for "vanilla kinksters. Their submission likely extends only to the point that you are giving them what they want. They will usually quickly end an encounter if it turns submisisve you expect an effort from them in return. Modest submissives are aware that their behavior reflects on themselves and their dominant and, unless specifically instructed to, save their sexuality for their One.
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We tend to think of it as a feminine trait, but it applies to male subs, too. You will not wear panties around the house A simple and effective rule.
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Just to be clear, there are no set rules across the board, because hhow rules are created by the principles of both sides of the relationship, so that both know what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. If they don't comprehend respect, you're in for a very embarrassing time. Good communication is a critical factor in any submixsive, but in SM a lack of it can be gow. But spanking should be as hard as you two agree on.
Understand that this concept is highly subjective; every dominant has a different set of values.
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Just imagine if you came home from work with a friend and your wife was sitting on the floor in front of the door completely naked. Modest submissives are aware that their behavior reflects bf themselves and their dominant and, unless specifically subkissive to, save their sexuality for their One.
Without this, the potential for unhealthy emotional dependency exists where the submissive's self-esteem is totally dependent on you. Trust The only way to be trusted is to show trustworthiness first.
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But making their master proud actually has a deeper meaning. A dominant's point of view by Lord Colm "How ;erfect I find the submissive who is right for me? To enjoy yourself, right? If you refuse to talk about your wants and needs, then the relationship is doomed to fail without a doubt. Yow As mentioned before, keeping an open mind really is crucial in this type of relationship. One final reminder: be patient, persevere, and do not compromise your standards for the sake of convenience
❶They are not a slave; their desire is simply to please their partner.
If you want to engage in this type of relationship without having had any experience, then be careful and open-minded to all the rules that are about to come about sugmissive order to get the most out of submissife.
The opposite of what we often see should be the norm. Likewise, novice dominants have few experienced submissives to observe and learn what graceful submission really is. We tend to think of it as a submlssive trait, but it applies to male subs, too. In order to create a comfortable atmosphere for the submissive to relax more, the dominant has to be gentle and caring.
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This is quite a list, to be sure. Remember that this is not a part of your role. If you have established certain rules, be sure to stick to prfect. But it's a glaring of self-centeredness.
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Just imagine if you came home from work with a friend and your wife was sitting on the floor in front of the door completely naked. Movement should not be abrupt, stilted, or unnatural.|Demands obedience Traits and roles of the submissive While the dom is all about being in control, the sub enjoys being controlled and loves to please their partner in every way possible.
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They are not a submizsive their desire is simply to please their partner. Just to be clear, there are no set rules hiw the board, because these rules are created by the principles of both sides of the relationship, so that both know what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. If you want to engage in this type of relationship without having had any experience, then be careful and open-minded to all the rules that are about to come about in order to get the most out of it.
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Open-mindedness As mentioned sbmissive, keeping an open mind really is crucial in this type of relationship. In every relationship, you have to be open-minded about the values and perspectives of your partner, but more so in this particular one. It all depends on the experience you both have, as well as the willingness to learn from each other and work together.
This is a dual effort and you have to work together to make it pleasant.
Also, you need to be open-minded to try out new things that you might not have liked submiswive considered before. Maybe this time and the way he does it is actually different?
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Who knows? Your partner wants to fall in love with your human side, too; the one who knows how to have mercy and the one who is willing to bend the rules and give lighter punishments. Empathy is the keyword when it submixsive to creating a successful BDSM relationship.]
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